Pièce jointe
by IceCrome
Summary: You don't know why you love him, and you don't know why you can't stop, but all you want to do is forget and go on. However, that seems very unlikely. SasoDei. AU. OOC.


_Uh...I have to write an angsty unrequited fic. It's just required. _

_© Kishimoto_

_Also, just for the record: I detest Itachi/Sasori. Fr srs. _

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"Nnnh..." Deidara shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He fiddled with his zipper on his pale yellow jacket.

Fuck.

All the _happy goddamn couples. _It made him sick.

He blinked, his blue eye not obscured by hair looking around at circular lunch table, ten seats around it. Kisame to his left, Tobi to his right. Zetsu to Tobi's right, then Kakuzu, Hidan, Pein, Konan, Itachi and Sasori, making their way back around to Kisame.

His eyes flickered up to Sasori. His best friend. And the only person he'd ever actually loved.

Which was quite painful.

_'He's with Itachi...' _He swallowed harshly.

Knowing each other since age two and growing up with him, Sasori and Deidara had become little more than best friends. The red-head would always be there for the blond, and the blond would never leave his side.

_'I guess that's how I fell in love with him...his stupid...charming personality...and he was so protective of me...'_

"Deidara-senpai?" His head shot up, and he looked at Tobi. The brunette's red eye not covered by a white bandaged looked at him curiously. "Are you...okay?" Tobi was not a naïve little bastard everybody thought he was. He _knew _Deidara was hopelessly in love with Sasori.

"...yeah..." He put his head in his arms and closed his eyes halfway. Konan was canoodling with Pein, Kakuzu and Hidan were bickering, which was their strange way of showing affection, and Tobi was awkwardly flirting with Zetsu.

And then, of course, there was _Sasori _and _Itachi._

Who were _kissing._

Publicly.

It made him just want to cry. But no. He couldn't. He had a very high resistance level.

So all Deidara could do was watch.

_And it hurt._

"Senpai..." Tobi murmured, and Deidara shot up again. He looked into Tobi's eye, and shook his head.

"Ah...sorry, Tobi...just...I think I need some air, u-un..." Deidara stood up from his seat, navigating his way around the tables without his ass accidentally rubbing up against somebody. He wiped a stray tear that came down his eye off hastily, and tried to go outside. Sasori furrowed his eyebrows, noticing his blond best friend try to go outside. He never went out during their recess period.

"Brat, where are you going?" Sasori tilted his head questionably at him, and grabbed the hem of his yellow jacket. Deidara opened his mouth to answer, but narrowed his eyes angrily yanked out of Sasori's hold.

"What the hell?" He started to go after the blond, but Itachi held his arm, preventing him from going. Sasori furrowed his eyebrows, and Itachi pulled him down back into his seat. Sasori tried to pry himself from the grip, but Itachi held firm.

"Sasori, he'll be _fine._"

* * *

"Shit...un..." Tears flowed freely down his face, and he buried his face in his arms. His sleeves were starting to get wet, and his ass was starting to hurt from sitting on cement. He sat on the end of a brick wall, about twenty yards away from the exit to the outside.

"Why do I fucking...god! Why do I love him?!" His blue eyes sparkled with tears, and he used the back of his palm to wipe them off. Deidara sniffed, and put his hand to his forehead, massaging his temples with his thumb and ring finger.

"I've known him forever...and....I've loved him for forever, un!" He ran a hand through his hair, and breathed in fast and deep, trying to calm himself down.

_'You're...a failure...get out of my sight...'_

_'Dad...!'_

_'...get out...or I'll kill you...' _His eyes shot open, and his heart beat at a million miles an hour.

_'No...please...anything but that memory!'_

"Deidara..." His head shot up, and he looked into the gentle brown eyes of Sasori. He blushed, and hurriedly tried to wipe the tears off of his face, but Sasori grabbed his wrist.

"Why were you crying?" He knelt down in front of Deidara, his eyes showing concern and warmth. Deidara's eyes widened, and his breath came out in shorter bursts. Sasori raised an eyebrow.

"Deidara..."

"I...just stressed out. Being in all...Honors...and _that _anniversary is coming up, un..." He diverted his eyes, finding a pebble nearby much more interesting. Sasori grabbed his chin, and made him look into his eyes.

"Deidara, if you need to talk to anybody...I'll always be here for you. I've known you for my life, and I don't want to break our friendship. If you have _any _problems, I want you to come to me first, alright?" Deidara nodded, a stray tear slipping out. Sasori wiped it off with his thumb, and kissed his forehead.

"Here, gimme your jacket. Haruko-sensei won't mind if I throw it in the dryer. She usually lets students dry off their wet clothes in the dryer, anyway." Deidara hesitantly took it off, revealing a plain white T-shirt; not too tight, nor too loose. Sasori flung it over his shoulder, an obvious reminder to ask the textiles teacher to dry it. The slightly taller red-head offered a hand to the blond to help him up. Deidara tentatively took it, and linked fingers with the red-head.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay? I don't like it when you cry. I feel like I'm not there for you." Deidara smiled sadly.

_'It's okay, I know Itachi needs you. I'm just a friend.'_

"Danna, don't worry. I'll...be fine."

That was a lie.

* * *

"Senpai...!" Tobi gave Deidara a gentle hug. He had learned very quickly that violently hugging Deidara after he returned from crying was not the best idea. Deidara smiled at him cockily, and rubbed the back of his head.

"Ah, Tobi, don't worry about me! I'll be just fine, un!" Tobi smiled toothily, happy to see his senpai was alright.

"Ohh...well...Sasori invited all of us to the movies. He said he's been dying to see that new horror that came out..." Deidara blinked, and nodded his head.

"Aa! That one. I know what you're talking about. I don't know if I'll be able to make it, though." He smiled painfully, knowing full-well that Itachi would capitalize on the possibility of being alone with Sasori in a dark theater.

"Senpai..." Tobi looked at him, his eyes obviously showing concern, but Deidara waved a hand absentmindedly.

"Don't worry, un. I have a term paper for due for English. I...don't think I would be able to go anyway." He grinned cockily, and his eyes twinkled. Tobi opened his mouth to protest, but Zetsu put a hand on his shoulder. The green-faced man looked at him.

"Tobi, let Deidara go. Obviously, he has plans. Maybe he can come next week, right Deidara?" Deidara nodded, and smiled cockily.

"'Course! I should be able to go." His eyes drifted over towards Sasori, and he gave a fake smile. "Yeah...un."

"Deidara." He turned his head to look at Zetsu, who was now sporting Tobi on his shoulders. The brunette held his stuffed panda in his arms, and glanced down on Deidara, his big red eye not obscured by a white eye patch boring holes into his face. "Are you going to be okay?" The green-faced man blinked his half-lid eyes at him, and Deidara gulped.

"Y-yeah...I'll...be okay."

* * *

"_Shit!_"

"_Fuck!_"

Deidara slammed his fist against a wall, as tears of anger, pain and sadness rolled down his face.

He _hated _his life.

Deidara slid down to his knees, tears rolling down his eyes. He had to live in a dingy apartment, barely paying the rent every month. The wallpaper was peeling, and the electricity barely gave off any light. His bed was hard as coal and cold as ice whenever he slept in it.

He sobbed, thinking of Sasori again. It wasn't like he didn't _try _to hit his feelings with a shovel, then bury them in a grave. In all actuality, those feelings came back. Every time.

Every _goddamn_ time.

Deidara wiped his tears off with his thin arms, and tried to forget that he was living in an inner-city apartment, starving, and desperately wanting to kill himself.

But he _couldn't._

"_Fuck! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck!" _He curled up into a ball, and fell onto his left side. The carpet became stained with tears he clawed at it slowly. After his parents abandoned him for being a homosexual, his self-confidence and esteem plummeted.

_'I always thought being gay was wrong...I hated myself so much. But...after that happened...you were always there fore me.'_

His eyes flicked around the room, although his vision was obscured by salty tears. He saw a glint of silver, and his muscles tensed up. He hurriedly crawled to the corner, and stared at the knife in horror.

Deidara's eyes widened twice their original size, and visions began to flash through his mind. Parents telling him to get out of their house, tears obscuring his vision, a bunch of people from school following him...

_'Then a dark alley...a lot of cuts...and screaming...' _He swallowed harshly, _'Mostly from me.'_

He leaned his head back on the wall, and stared dully at the wall.

"I don't want to live...but I can't die, un." He slammed his head hard into the wall, hoping to black out. He didn't.

_'What am I supposed to do?'  
_

* * *

_  
'...what...get away...'_

_'...don't approve of you...teach you a lesson...'_

_'Please...! Go...!'_

_'...scream as loud as you want...nobody can hear you...'_

* * *

One week later, Deidara walked the halls the next day, pretending nothing had happened the week before.

_'Just like every other time.' _He thought bitterly.

It was Friday; which undoubtedly meant he would be forcibly taken to the movies by Tobi, Hidan, or Konan again. All he wanted to do was spend his weekend sketching at the park, forgetting about his situation before roughly being shoved back down into reality.

Like every week.

He sighed, before painfully approching his table, gulping as he thought og his seat giving a clear view of what Sasori and Itachi were doing. He put on a brave façade, and cheerfully gave Sasori a light hug. Itachi visibly stiffened, his arm wrapped around Sasori tightening as Deidara pulled away.

"Hey brat, you alright? You were spacing out in Pre-cal today. Akira-sensei was getting a little ticked." Deidara smirked, and shrugged.

"Well, it was really boring, un. The lesson was so goddamn dull."

_'Liar._' His mind said.

"Oh. I thought you liked math." Sasori raised an eyebrow. Deidara quickly thought of an excuse, anything to avoid telling the truth.

"Well, it just seemed really...unimportant, un."

_'Shitty excuse.'_

"Aa. I see." Sasori shrugged off Itachi's arm, and pet Deidara on the head. "You didn't get a lot of sleep last night, did you?"

_'Is it that obvious?'_

"N-not really." Sasori smirked, and ruffled his hair.

"Get some more sleep, brat." Deidara smiled cockily at him, and punched him lightly in the shoulder. Sasori faked pain, and chuckled. His chuckles died down, but he smirked as a blob of hyperactivity launched himself at Deidara.

"Senpai, we're going to the movies tonight! Sasori and Itachi are going, along with Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu and I!" Tobi turned the blond around and smiled at him, "Will you come too, senpai?"

Deidara froze.

_'Dark theater...Itachi...Sasori...no...I can't...'_

"N-no..." Deidara said, but put on a brave smile, trying to hide the face that he was hurt. "No...no, I'll be busy."Sasori blinked, looking at the blond.

_'Brat...you liar.'  
_

* * *

"Sasori!" Tobi shouted on top of Zetsu's shoulders. The red head flipped his head to the right, and Zetsu motioned for him to come towards him. Sasori shrugged out of Itachi's hold, and Itachi grabbed his wrist. They were sitting under a cherry blossom tree, passing their free time as they waited for everybody to show up so they could go to the movies.

"Where are you going?" Sasori furrowed his eyebrows, and pulled his wrist out of his hold. Itachi narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Zetsu wants me. I can go alone, Christ." The green-skin-condition-laced man looked on boredly as he watched Sasori come nearer.

"What is it? And why'd it take you so long to get here? Where are Hidan and Kakuzu?" Zetsu, ignoring the questions, looked up to Tobi.

"Sasori, I...think you should go over to Senpai's apartment invite him to the movies. He seemed...really sad...and I don't think it's good for him to stay inside his apartment!" Sasori tilted his head, chewing on the inside of his right cheek.

"Didn't you ask him? I thought he said no." Tobi nodded fervently, and Sasori shrugged.

"He said he was busy, though, right?" The red-eyed ball of energy nodded again, and Sasori scowled.

"Then why the hell are you asking me to ask him to come? I know Deidara better than anybody; when he doesn't want to be bothered he doesn't want to be bothered." Tobi jumped down from Zetsu's back, and looked down at the ground sadly. Sasori grabbed his forearm.

"What?"

"Er, Deidara-Senpai hasn't exactly been out of the house a lot lately...I think he needs to get out! And the movie starts in about an hour...so you have enough time to get over to his house and get him to the theater!" Tobi clasped Sasori's hand in his own, "Please Sasori! Could you please do this?" Sasori looked at the boy's almost _sparkling _red eye, and sighed.

"Itachi!" The brunette turned to the voice that said his name, "I'm going over to get Deidara. I'll be back in about thirty minutes." Itachi grunted in response.

"Why are you so bent out of shape about brat, anyway?" Sasori scoffed, and Zetsu snorted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Tobi fiddled with his belt.

"I-I...He seems really sad lately, and I think he...needs our help!" He blinked, silently sighing that he was able to pull of the lie.

_'There's no way I can tell Sasori...'  
_

* * *

Deidara hungrily dug into his onigiri hungrily, and ate his rice up quickly. He'd barely eaten anything in the past week, and he was starving. He took a sip of his Ramune, and wiped the excess amount off his upper lip.

He turned his head as a knock on the door was heard. Quickly abandoning the napkin in his lap, he set it next to the Ramune, and swiftly went over to the door.

His eyes widened as he saw Sasori standing there, looking rather annoyed. Deidara's mouth hung open slightly, and his eyebrows receded into his hairline.

"S-Sasori-Danna, what are you doing here, un?" Sasori looked over at him, a sense of pity washing through him as he saw the small, slightly dirty apartment. Deidara looked like skin and bones, and Sasori noticed the plate on the table.

_'Maybe I shouldn't have come...' _He said, and stuck his hands inside of his jacket. _'Heh...he looks really cute when he's surprised.' _He didn't notice his own slip.

"Sasori-Danna, what is it? I'm...in the middle of eating." Sasori grumbled, a small blush on his face.

"You're going to the movies with us. No excuses." Deidara's eyes widened, and he slammed the door.

_'I can't...I can't watch as they kiss and...Fuck, I can't do this!' _

"Open the goddamn door, Deidara!" A few tears slid down the blond's cheeks. He wiped them off using his bony arm, and opened the door while sitting down. Sasori leaned down next to him, and massaged the top of his scalp gently with his thumb and middle finger.

"What the hell's going on with you, brat..." He mumbled, and Deidara looked up at him with shiny eyes, sparkling with tears. Sasori chewed on his bottom lip, and wiped away the tears with his thumb.

"Deidara, you're coming with me...you need to get out of your house..." Deidara's mouth formed a thin line, and he hesitantly nodded. Sasori helped him up, and Deidara smiled.

"...thanks...un..." Deidara kissed his cheek, and Sasori's eyebrows shot up. He turned away and blushed slightly.

"Go...get your jacket, brat."

* * *

Deidara sunk into his seat, and Zetsu placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He _hated _horror movies.

"Deidara-senpai..." Tobi said, eating some popcorn, "here." Tobi held out his right hand, and Deidara took it, wrapping his fingers around his palm. Tobi smiled gently at him, and Hidan scoffed.

"Fucking queers." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, and slapped the boy in the back of the head.

"Idiot. Not everybody likes blood and gore like you do. Christ, stop being such a unsympathetic bitch." Hidan glared at the older of the two, and let out a string of curses.

"Shut the _hell _up, Hidan." Zetsu said, his eyes narrowing down to slits. Deidara sunk into his seat further, and Tobi smiled weakly at him.

"It's...okay, senpai! If you need to, go outside." Deidara shook his head, and held his right arm around him.

"I'll...be fine, Tobi, un." Deidara sat up straighter, closing his eyes to regain himself. "Don't worry." He smirked cockily at the younger brunette, and looked at the screen boldly.

He sat calmly, squeezing Tobi's hand whenever he couldn't take the violence. Tobi winced slightly at the pain, but quickly got over it. It was to help his friend, after all. Deidara loosened his hold on Tobi's hand, and leaned his head against the slightly uncomfortable seat.

"Tobi, un, wake me up when the movie's over..." Deidara yawned, and attempted to sleep. Tobi nodded, and let go of Deidara's hand so the blond could have it back.

Fifteen minutes later, Deidara was woken up by a scream. He jumped, and breathed in ragged breaths. Zetsu grabbed his right arm, helping him calm down a little. Deidara gulped, and sighed, looking up at the movie.

He froze, and breathed in sharply when he saw two lips connected—Sasori and Itachi's.

Deidara looked down towards the ground, and yanked his arm away from Zetsu. He quickly tried to get out from the aisle. Hidan grabbed his arm.

"Where the hell are you going, blondie?" Deidara kept silent, and jerked his arm away. Hidan made a move to go after his friend, but Kakuzu held him back.

"He does _not _want your help right now." He turned his head towards Sasori, who noticed the blond leaving, "I think he'd be a better bet, anyway."

Hidan sulked back down into his chair, and grumbled.

Outside, Deidara slunk down the exit, palm on his forehead. He let out a choked sob, and ran his fingers through the fringe in his eye. No tears came out from his eyes.

_'How the hell can I even cry anymore...It should be expected he feels nothing but friendship towards me.' _

"Deidara, what is going _on _with you?!" Sasori said, obviously irked. He walked furiously over towards the blond, who's blue eyes were laced with shock. He stood up quickly, and fiddled with the hem of his jacket, too shameful to look into his eyes. Sasori grabbed his chin, and looked into his eyes.

"What's wrong with you?" Deidara jerked out of his hold, and began to walk back towards the movie theater. Sasori narrowed his eyes, and grabbed his right arm. Deidara looked back at him, venom lacing his eyes.

"What's wrong with me, un?" Deidara said shakily, jerking his arm away from Sasori's grip. "I...why do you insist on fucking with me?" He said, his voice low. He looked away, and Sasori furrowed his eyebrows.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Deidara clenched his fist, and slapped Sasori. The red-head let out a grunt of pain, and grasped his right cheek. He narrowed his eyes at the blond.

"What the hell was that for?! What did I _do _to you?!" His voice was louder now, attracting the attention of the staff.

"You....you kiss my forehead...hug me whenever you see me...a-and...I can't help but feel that...you feel something for me, un...!" Deidara said, his fingernails digging deep into his palm.

_'What? Feel something for him...? But I don't. I...think.'_

"D-Dei...I don't...understand." Deidara shook violently, and he looked up at Sasori, tears glistening in his eyes.

"Don't you under-_fucking_-stand?! I _love _you! I...I've loved you since...three years ago...But then you got together with I-Itachi! And...I couldn't tell you! You _broke _me!" Deidara wiped away the tears with his jacket sleeve, and Sasori mouth hung open slightly as his eyes widened slowly.

_'Loves me?'_

"Deidara..." Sasori lifted his face up with his chin, and smiled sadly at him. Deidara's eyes looked up in horror, knowing what the answer was.

"...I..." He stood up, and ran out the door. Sasori stood up, blandly staring after the blond.

In the shadows, a lonely Uchiha stood, watching the entire scene play out.

* * *

"Itachi." Sasori looked over at his boyfriend, and the stoic brunette grunted. He turned his attention back to the wheel.

"What?"

"Deidara told me he loves me. I don't know what to do." He said, not taking his eyes off the road at all. Itachi growled.

"Don't talk to him anymore. I'll be around you to watch." Sasori slammed on the brake, and flipped his head over to Itachi.

"What the fuck? Are you high? I'm not going to avoid him all together. He's my best goddamn friend." Sasori turned his head back to the road slowly, carefully putting pressure on the pedal to make the car move.

"I don't want you to go to him out of pity. I''ll be around you all the time." Sasori glared over at Itachi.

"_No_." Sasori pulled over the side of the road, and narrowed his eyes at Itachi. He turned on the lights inside the car so he could get a clear look at his face.

"You are already possessive and a little clingy. I let it slide, because I know that's how you are. But this? This is just fucking it. I'm not letting you 'ban' me from seeing him." Sasori snarled, "And if you don't like that, then tough shit."

Itachi cupped his face, and looked into his eyes, "Yes. You. _Will._" Sasori's eyes narrowed dangerously, and he unlocked the car door.

"Get out. I'm ending our relationship. Get out of my car. Your house is a few blocks down, you can walk." Itachi sat motionless, and Sasori snapped.

"Get _out._" Itachi slowly turned his head towards the crimson-haired man.

"You're making a mistake, Sasori." Sasori bared his teeth.

"I don't care."

"Sasori—."

"_Get. Out._" Itachi wordlessly opened the car door, and got out, shutting it violently. Sasori let out a string of violent swear words in various languages, wiping his eyes that had tears of anger in them.

_'Maybe...maybe Itachi wasn't the one.' _Sasori thought, quickly turning his turn signal on. _'Deidara's always been there for me...and he's always so perky...He always manages to brighten up my day even if he can't his own. He's such a cocky bastard, too...too damn proud.'_

Sasori pounded his head against the wheel in frustration, and a single tear ran down his eyes.

_'Fucking repressed feelings...I guess I do like him...a lot.'_

_'...Shit.'  
_

* * *

Deidara stared at his wall, breath slowly going in and out of his nose.

It was Friday. He had missed an entire week of school.

Various missed calls were on his cell phone, and he didn't make a move to reach it as another text beeped into his phone.

Inside, he had been having a psychological war all week.

_'Why don't you just end it, Deidara?'_

_'Because Sasori...he would be so hurt...I can't hurt him.'_

_'But you slapped him, correct?'_

_'He deserved that!'_

_'For what? Not loving you back? It's not his fault, Deidara. All that pity he gave you was fake, you know.'_

_'It was not!'_

_'Stop being such a whiny bitch. There's a butcher knife in the kitchen. You know what you should do.'_

"...!" Deidara's eyes widened slightly, and he looked down to the ground. Maybe...he should just end it. They'd be sad...sure...but he'd be free from his own damn prison.

_'Free from this misery.'_ He added bitingly. Slowly, his feet made it across the carpet, and onto the cold Tatami mats. He shook slightly as he took the knife in his hand, twirling it around slightly. He shivered, and dropped it back onto the floor, heart pounding as he looked at it.

"_Can't be...my own son..."_

"_Dad...!"_

"_...out...or I'll kill you...never see you again..."_

"_...my son...my baby...a faggot..."_

"_...following me...stop...away..."_

"_...stupid fag...taught a lesson..."_

"_No...don't...! Stop...cutting my face...! Shit!" _

"_...you're such a pussy...get out of my sight...' _

Deidara bit his tongue, and gave out a choked sob. _'Anything but that...anything!' _

He glanced down at the knife, and a sick, twisted smile made it's way on his face. "Strange...the one phobia I have...can save me..." He picked up the stainless steel, and his eyes widened insanely, his smile growing more maniac.

"How ironic..."

* * *

He hadn't seen Deidara at school all week.

"Stupid brat..." He growled out, "why the hell aren't you at school?!" He pushed down hard on the gas pedal. He quickly stepped on the brakes, the car making a loud screeching noise as it came to a halt at a red light.

"God_dammit..._hurry up..!" He glared at the red light, and tapped his toe impatiently in his shoe.

He knew something was wrong with Deidara. He _knew _it.

"Fucking finally." He sped up on the pedal, and came to a harsh stop once Deidara's apartment complex came into view. Quickly taking his keys out, he shut the door violently before running towards the entrance.

"Why the hell hasn't he been at school all week..." He growled out, side-stepping an elderly woman before continuing to dart down to the entrance, "Stupid brat...making me worry like this..."

_'Calm down. It's not going to help anything if you're angry.' _He thought to himself. Slowly down once he saw the door, he took a few seconds to catch his breath before turning the knob, and running up the stairs towards his apartment number.

Three years of track and field had been good to him.

Running up the stairs two at a time, he managed to reach the top of the steps quickly. He darted his eyes to the left, and saw Deidara's room number at the far end. He skidded down the hallway, and stopped in front of his door, knocking on it frantically.

"Deidara! Deidara, open the door!"

No answer.

"Deidara...please...open the door..." Again, only silence.

Uncomfortable, eerie silence.

He grabbed the door handle, and twisted it slowly. He breathed in and out rapidly, and hear his heart beating—sounding like a million drums.

"Dei...dara?"

His breath caught in his throat, as a blond boy stood, a butcher knife positioned near his stomach. Sasori froze.

"...Sasori...Danna?" He flicked his head towards the red-head, his eyes dull and lifeless. Their usual shine had disappeared. Sasori stepped towards him cautiously, and Deidara didn't make any move to put the knife down.

"Deidara...put it down...please..." His voice quivered, and Deidara giggled maniacally. A bead of sweat slowly made its way down Sasori's forehead.

_'Don't do this Dei...don't do this...' _

"I...always loved you...but...I guess you returning my feelings is too much to hope for, un..." Deidara stared blankly at his phobia, and scowled.

"No, wait, don't—!"

The sound of steel piercing skin, and a thump to the ground was heard.

Sasori's eyes turned into saucers, and his heart pounded into his ears as he shook frantically. He darted over towards the blond, now laying in a bloody heap on the floor.

"Hah...blood...I'm bleeding, Danna...It hurts a lot...hah...I'm bleeding, Danna_...I'm bleeding!"_ Deidara smiled cruelly, laughing crazily, and Sasori smiled weakly back, a few tears running down his cheeks.

"D-Don't move, Deidara, and try to stay awake. I'm calling an ambulance."

"I don't want that, un..." Deidara said weakly, his eyes flitting over to Sasori as he struggled to keep them open.

"...I know...but I do..."

* * *

_  
'I can see white...I can see all white, Sasori-Danna. And I think I can see you..'  
_

_'...losing too much blood...don't know what...do...'  
_

_'I see you, Danna...you're holding out your hand...I want to take it...'  
_

_'…help him...please...can't lose him...'_

_'You look beautiful, Sasori...'_

_'...can't let him die...PLEASE!'  
__  
'Don't blame me for wanting to do this, Danna. I couldn't...couldn't help it.'_

_'...kid...get away...wait outside...'  
_

_'I always loved you...'  
_

_'...it's in God's hands now...'  
_

_'See you in the next life.'_

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_Beep._

_Beep._

_Beep._

Deidara opened his eyes slowly, and turned his head to the right slightly.

_'A heart monitor...? But I thought...'_

"Oh good! You're awake!" He twisted his head to the right, to see a nurse clad in blue scrubs holding a clipboard. Deidara's eyes widened, and his body started to shake slightly.

_'I...wasn't successful?'_

"You suffered massive blood loss; however, a friend of yours got you here and gave you a blood transfusion. O is the universal donor, after all, and with your rare blood type, it was miraculous that you survived." Deidara smiled sadly, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Y-yeah, un." The nurse smiled at him.

"A friend of yours is waiting outside. He has for a while now. Do you want him in here...?" Deidara nodded his head slowly, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Alright." The nurse made her way towards the door and opened it. She called to the boy outside, and held the door open.

Sasori walked in, looking disheveled. His hair was messier than usual, and he had tear stains on his cheeks. His normally smooth black jacket was wrinkly, and his eyes were dull.

"I'll leave you two alone. Press the button if you need anything." She closed the door, leaving the red-head and blond alone.

"..." Deidara averted his eyes to the curtains, and Sasori sat down in a chair to the right of his bed.

"Deidara." Deidara's eyes slowly turned to look at Sasori, and the crimson-haired man had a pained look on his face, "why...did you do it...?" Deidara looked down, refusing to meet eyes with Sasori.

"Deidara!" He said sternly. Deidara looked up at him, his eyes shining with melancholy. Sasori took his right hand in his own two, and Deidara bit back tears.

"...I couldn't...everything just fucking...sucked. And...I loved you so much, but you...were with Itachi. I couldn't take it any more, un." Sasori looked down, and bit his lower lip. Deidara laid back down on the bed, and Sasori stared at him.

"I never should have started a relationship with him. I could...see in your eyes that you didn't want it when I asked him out that day." Deidara turned his head towards Sasori his eyes half-lidded.

"I hated you that day."

Sasori blinked.

"I _despised_ you that day."

"..." Sasori averted his eyes, and Deidara's blue eyes bored holes into his head.

"But I couldn't keep hold of that anger. All your...qualities that I loved...and I hated myself because I thought you couldn't love me back." He snorted. "I guess I was right."

Sasori grabbed his chin roughly, and kissed him.

The blond's eyes widened, and he froze.

"Don't. _Ever. _Do that. _Again._" Sasori said venomously. Deidara gulped, and a tear slid down Sasori's cheek. "Maybe I was a little slow, a little stupid, but I don't want you to do that ever _again_." Deidara wiped the tears off with his thumb. The red-head buried his face in Deidara's shoulder.

"We've been friends forever. And-and I called it off with Itachi. He was becoming...possessive." Sasori smiled. "Plus...I think...I like you. A lot." Deidara snorted.

"Right. You're saying that to make me feel better, just so I won't try to kill myself ag—." He was cut off by Sasori's lips again, and he hesitantly returned it. Sasori's tongue ran over his lips, and Deidara opened his mouth. Sasori ran his tongue on the the roof of Deidara's mouth, and Deidara shuddered. The two broke for air, connected by a string of saliva. Sasori grabbed the blond's shoulders.

"Don't. Just...I want you to believe me. I made a mistake. It _happens..._I'm human. I should've been there for you when..." He touched the left side of Deidara's face, "this happened..." Sasori smiled gently at him. "Forgive me." Deidara put a finger to his lips, and kissed him gently.

"I...do. Please help me...Danna, un." Sasori brought him into his arms, and laughed softly.

"I will. I promise."

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